I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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