Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
