nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
