I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
