well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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