We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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