Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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