So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize