forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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