I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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