Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
