I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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