aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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