he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
