This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
