I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
