Don't make out with my wife yet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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