Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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