She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
