Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
