Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
