drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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