whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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