I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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