Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
