no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
