It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
