she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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