I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
