Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
