porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
