I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
