As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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