Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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