Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
