do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
