I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
