Are we in a gay sports bar?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
