she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize