your parents love me but you hate me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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