I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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