return my video game
he shaved USA in his pubs
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
