new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
