Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
