i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
