Will you blow on my dice?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize