Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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