Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize