You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
