I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
