walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
