I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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