i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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