was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
