Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
