I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
