can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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