first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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