Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
