How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize