I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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