Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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