So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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